My day started at 1:00 am waking up in my usually stressed and sweaty way. The blankets were too hot and clung to my skin in a terrible way. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing horrifying images behind my eyelids. So sleep wasn't really an option.
My room was
almost completely dark except for Basil's heat lamp but even then the
world felt small and hot. I felt like I couldn't escape anything, not
even the air I had to breathe to survive. I just couldn't keep from the
feeling of heat sticking to my body and smothering me.
I got out of
bed and pulled a sheet around me as I headed to the kitchen a few feet
away. The window next to my fridge barely let any street light in.
Through the widow I could see the moon was beginning to turn a bloody red color. It reminded me of Dragon's scaly red skin that he always tried to hide under many types of clothing. I smiled a little, he is always kind of insecure in my nightmares, like a flustered kid 24/7. I think that was one of the reasons past me loved him.
opened my refrigerator to let the bleached light flood the kitchen
floor. It only took a few seconds for the cold air to hit me and I sat
down in front of the open fridge. I leaned my shoulder against the door
to keep it from closing on me.
The cold air hit me like a wave and
I sunk to the bottom of its endless ocean. I closed my eyes and looked
at the color that filtered through my eyelids, an array of oranges and
reds let my eyes stay busy yet rested. I fell asleep again and woke up
around 7:00 am with only a memory of fuzziness from my dream and a warm refrigerator.
I got up and went to the bathroom. I passed the mirror and stopped. Taking a step back I looked at myself. Me. Not her. Me. My tan Hispanic skin. My different colored eyes. The many colorful band aids covering exposed skin. My dark short hair. This was me.
I went on my routine, washing up and dressing myself, checking the closet garden, and feeding my slithery baby for the week.
I left the building and started walking towards the hardware store to buy some new plants. The air was thin today, clouds over head just little whips in the endless blue. As I was looking to the sky I bumped into someone. I turned back to look at them but they just kept going like they were in a hurry. Their feminine body shape looked really pretty but their walk was kind of sad, maybe confused. For some subconscious reason I wanted to call out to them but my voice caught in my throat. I felt kind of helpless... not that I'd every admit that to a soul. I just turned back to the sidewalk and kept moving forward.
The hardware store smelled of sawdust and soil, very welcoming. I got what I came for and went home, but as I stared at my barren apartment, the image of that girl stuck in the back of my mind, like I had seen them once before...